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When those 2 pink lines make you nervous

Checking for pregnancyThe other day one of my friend was telling me that she wants to have a baby because everyone around her is having one. And my instant reaction was No!!!! She was like what’s the matter with you? Who so ever I told about my decision is happy, why not you? And I said “have a baby only when you are prepared for it”, all this talk took me back to my first pregnancy. And today I will be sharing it with you all.

So, this was in June 2011, around 6 months after we got married. We got married on 25th December 2010. I had just gotten over with my post graduate (PG) first year final exams. We were watching some movie on the TV sipping on our beers. There was this sanitary napkin advertisement running on it. And suddenly I realised, I had not got my chums that month. I checked my calendar on the phone and there was no entry there as well. And here’s the conversation that followed.

Me: I didn’t get my chums this month.

Hubby: you must have got them. Maybe you forgot in the exam stress.

Me: no, I checked my calendar. Its not there. My chums visit date to date on time.

Hubby: maybe they are late because of the exam stress and all.

Me: but I am almost 15 days late.

Hubby: you are over reacting. Let’s wait for a week. I am sure you will get them, don’t panic.

Me: OK (still doubting).

A week later, me: still no sign of them. I am sure I am pregnant!!

Hubby: OK. Let’s do the test.

Because of all the anxiety and nervousness, I bought 5 test kits (to be extra sure you know and of different brands as well). Test 1 was negative (a sigh of relief), test 2 was positive (shit!!), test 3 and 4 gave error. Finally, did test 5 with the first sample in the morning and it was positive. I clearly remember it was a Thursday morning and we were hustling to get ready for office and work. Still unsure of what just happened, I called my mum.

Me: mum, what you doing? I got to talk to you.

Mum: I am getting ready for work. What happened?

Me: I think I am pregnant!

Mum: what? Congratulations!! Such a great news that too on a Thursday.

Me: I am nervous. What will I do now?

Mum: don’t worry let’s meet in the evening and talk.

Me: OK mum. Bye!

As I had to rush to college, I didn’t call anyone else. An hour after reaching college, I got a congratulatory call from my dad and in-laws. And all I could say was ‘thank you’.

All of this seems to be so happy and perfect right? But in all this no one knew what I was feeling and going through. As I mentioned earlier I was doing my PG. I was about to start with my final year. I had to start working on my dissertation. My college, patients, presentations, this was all I was prepared for. These were the things I had on my mind. This was what I was prepared for. Not a baby!

After all this happened, I didn’t attend college for almost 2 weeks. I didn’t know how to face my colleagues and teachers. Or rather I didn’t want to face them. I was so unsure of everything. Soon enough we went to a doctor and my pregnancy was confirmed. And then followed many more congratulatory messages. I used to just sit at home and do nothing. I was behaving as if something bad had happened to me. I was behaving as if I was sick. Maybe it was because of the severe nausea and vomiting that I had. I had become lethargic and dull.

When it comes to a woman’s pregnancy, everyone around is more focussed on the physical well being of the mother and her baby. But what about the psychological and emotional aspect of it? No one really talks to the woman what she is going through psychologically. I remember having crying spells for no reason at all. I was constantly anxious about how my life and routine would change after having a baby? Will I be able to appear and clear my final exams? Or will I have to appear 6 months later. In short, I was not prepared for this big life change. And by this I am not referring to the physical preparedness and health part, I am talking about the mental health and psychological aspect of it. I was not prepared for people to see me puking every now and then. I didn’t want my colleagues and teachers to feel that I was incapable of fulfilling some of my duties because I was pregnant. All these thoughts kept me disturbed, I was behaving weird. On the outside, people thought everything was fine. But in reality, it and I wasn’t.

Pregnancy is a phase full of changes and challenges. It is the time when you and your partner have to confront each other’s fears and expectations. It is the time to decide your parenting style. In the first trimester, the psychological changes may not be seen, but they are significant. There is this constant feeling of anxiety and nervousness. The nausea and vomiting you suffer from, just add on to all of this. There is this constant fear of losing your baby. I was going through all of that and no one knew about it. In fact, I never spoke to anyone for the fear of being judged and being over dramatic. Finally as I entered my second trimester, things got better and I decided to take control of my life. I started staying happy and positive.

The first trimester is more about psychological changes than physical changes. These include mood swings, anxiety. Everything happening is new for a mother. She and her body are going through a lot of changes and they need time and support to adjust to all of it. Though she knows all of this is normal, but it is difficult to function well with all these lingering feelings. We undergo depression and crying spells for no reason at all, we get angry for small and insignificant things. But all this is out of control. Thanks to those bloody hormones! In some cases, this increased stress might even lead to miscarriages. As we enter the second trimester, we are more relieved as we get habitual to all the changes. But the one added thing now is being forgetful. Not just that, we become disorganized as well. And to add to all of this, are the physical changes that are equally significant and visible now. All the weight gain makes us self-conscious. This might also be accompanied by skin breakouts and hair fall. Though the happy part starts now. We can feel the baby kick and move around. And finally, it all sinks in. The third and final trimester is all about the wait. The constant feeling of losing one’s baby disappears and we eagerly start waiting for the arrival of the new one. We start worrying about the birth and labor. Now is the time to start working on the birth plan and everything needed for the baby’s arrival.

So you see there is so much going on inside of us, the outside world has little/ no clue about. A lot of people are not even open to discussing all these issues. Well, again these might be normal, but for someone facing them and that too for the first time, these are issues. Uhh… did I drift away from the topic? Well maybe. But all these things are important and should be addressed.

Not being ready for a pregnancy maybe due to an unplanned pregnancy (like mine) and family pressure (for them your biological clock is ticking away), rape (well we cant overlook this cause), sexual activity without the use of contraception. But girl, if you are really not up for it do talk to your doctor about what can be done? In my case, I didn’t have that choice as I have had a history of PCOD and so we didn’t want to take chances with it.

To sum it all have a baby only and only when you are ready for it and because others feel that you are ready for it. It’s a big life change and that too not a easy one. So sign up for it, only when you are 100 % sure about it.

Just to help you all a little. Here is a list of few things that helped me deal with all of my issues:

  1. Counselling
  2. Taking extra rest
  3. Meditation
  4. Talking to your friend
  5. Talking to your spouse
  6. Regular walks and exercise
  7. Music

That’s all from me for now.

Bbye and take care.

same article also published on momspresso. link down below

https://www.momspresso.com/parenting/motherly-mess/article/when-those-2-pink-lines-make-you-nervous

Uncategorized

Normal delivery vs C-sec

Normal delivery or caesarean section. What is the more preferable way of childbirth. Read my experiences here.

Momspresso

Check out this interesting blog post
“NORMAL VS C-SEC” by Gayatri Deshmukh.
Read Here: https://www.momspresso.com/parenting/motherly-mess/article/normal-vs-csec

Skincare

Two essential steps to smooth and healthy skin

Ever since i remember, i have faced skin problems (Thanks to oily skin!!!). I had given up!! I couldnt have great skin ever. I had to live with my skin issues.

I remember sharing my skin problems with a dear friend of mine and she said haven’t you used a toner? I was like, what is that? Yesss…. i know it might be shocking to a lot many of you but i hadn’t heard or used a toner until by final year of undergrad. Let me tell you, i really thank her for that advice. Because that piece of advice changed my skin care game for good. And yes it has helped me have a smooth toned and healthy skin. This was one, the second one was something my husband had been coaxing me to do but i just didnt. You know how they say, Wife is always right. Well i definitely believed in it until i listened to him and came to realise that husbands can be right too (uhh..only sometimes!).

So here’s two things that completely changed my skin care game and for good.
TONER: Well let me tell you toners play a great role in skin care regimes, and especially for oily skin people. I bless the person who invented it and also bless my friend who introduced us. First lets talk about how and what a toner actually does.

  1. It shrinks your pores- Just take some toner on a cotton ball or pad and dab it onto your skin, let it sit for a few minutes and then apply your daily moisturiser. Thats it! simple isnt it? this will help to remove excess oil and will thus give smaller pores.
  2. Restores skin pH balance- Naturally, our skin has an acidic pH. Somewhere between 5 and 6. Now, the soaps/ face washes that we use are known to have a alkaline pH. Thus using them on a regular basis can disturb your skin’s normal pH. This is where the toner helps to balance that disturbance and bring it back to normal.
  3. Protector- As i said earlier, it helps in closing or reducing the pores and hence tightens the cell gaps. This prevents the impurities and pollutants from entering the deeper layers of the skin and thus reducing the gunk that accumulates in the pores.
  4. Some toners available these days even have a moisturising property to themselves. So 1 product and two steps of your skin care routine done.
  5. Refreshener: Just spray/ dab a little toner on your oily and dirty skin. VOILA!! Refreshed skin and refreshed you.
  6. I have read somewhere that the glycolic and the other alpha hydroxy acids in a toner help to prevent ingrown hair. I havent ever tried using a toner for this purpose, but i will definitely try it out and let u all know.

The biggest problem i suffered was of breakouts. may it be that time of the month or for that matter eating raw onions and garlic. But thanks to this little guy here, i am able to keep those monsters at bay. Though a couple of them (read 1 or 2) do visit me every month, but now they dont scare me anymore. I know what they are frightened of and i always have it for my rescue.

At present I am using the Biotique Bio Honey Water pore tightening toner with Himalayan waters for all skin types, the Neutrogena Deep Clean blackhead eliminating cooling toner and sometimes my Kama Ayurveda Pure Rosewater.


SUNSCREENS:

We all use sunscreens right. But I was a person who used sunscreen only while going out in the sun. My husband kept telling me that I should use them on a daily basis but somehow, I never listened to him. But now that I have started using it every day, I thank him for that. Lets just first talk about the uses of a sunscreen in general and then I will tell you how it helped my skin.

  1. Protection- Sunscreens mainly act by absorbing or reflecting the UV rays. It prevents the harmful rays from reaching the deeper layers of the skin and thus preventing damage. This helps to keep premature aging at bay.
  2. It has been proven that sunscreens lower the risk of skin cancers caused due to the harmful UV rays.
  3. Lowers blotchiness on face– sunscreens prevents the onset of blotchiness and red veins. This is also important to prevent acne and other sun rays induced damages.
  4. Prevents sunburns– I have had numerous sunburns during my undergrad years. We had to walk from our hostel to college and elsewhere within the campus in a temperature of around 48 degrees. This gave me sunburns on my face. And that too in spite of covering my face with a scarf. Yes, I had this misconception that covering my face with a scarf and an umbrella was enough. But it was not. Only when I started using sunscreen on a daily basis with a minimum SPF of 30 did I get rid of sunburns and other skin damages. Sunburns weaken our skin and make it prone to other sun induced damages. It may lead to peeling, redness, hives and itching. This can in turn escalate the risk of skin cancer.
  5. Prevents tanning– some people like to sunbathe to tan. But at the same time they are exposing themselves to harmful UVB rays for a great amount of time. Sunscreens play a major role here. A minimum of SPF 30 should be used.
  6. Healthy skin– as discussed earlier, sunscreens prevent the harmful rays from entering the deeper layers of the skin. Hence they protect the essential skin proteins like collagen, keratin and elastin. Thus keeping our skin smooth and healthy.
  7. Cosmetic option– many sunscreens these days double up as a moisturiser also.

Now, coming back to me. Using a sunscreen on a daily basis has given me a even toned skin, lesser fine lines and overall an improved complexion by preventing dullness and pigmentation . I use it in my morning skin care routine, as a third step that is after applying my moisturiser. When going out, apply it 30 minutes before stepping out for best results.

At present I am using the Biotique Bio Aloe Vera 30+ SPF UVA UVB sunscreen lotion for normal to oily skin alternately to my all time favourite Lotus Herbals Safe Sun Sunblock SPF 30.

So thats it.. Simple isnt it. Do try it out and i am sure you will get the desired results.

Stay tuned for more

Till then

bbye

Product reviews

Tea tree & charcoal mask by Juicy Chemistry

Ingredients: Oatmeal, Organic rice flour, Prunus dulcis(Almond meal), Juglans regia(Walnut), Ocimum basilicum(Basil), Rosa(Rose), Lavandula(Lavender), Mentha(Peppermint), Fuller’s earth, Activated carbon, Mentha piperita(Peppermint essential oil), Piper nigrum(Black pepper essential oil), Citrus bergamia(Bergamot essential oil), Melaleuca alternifolia(Tea tree essential oil), Juniperus communis(Juniper berry essential oil).

If you are tired of those pimples and blackheads then you should definitely try out this mask. The charcoal present in it helps to remove the muck from your pores leaving them clean and unclogged, thus lesser blackheads. The various essential oils present like tea tree oil, juniper berry oil and peppermint oil act as an anti septic and improve circulation and so help in controlling the acne. Ingredients like almonds and walnuts act as an exfoliator and thus helps clean your skin. Fuller’s earth also helps remove excess oil and dirt from skin thus controlling acne and giving your skin a nice radiance and improved complexion. It comes in a powder form. Hence mix the required amount with water or milk and then apply over your face. Leave and let it dry for around 15 mins and then wash off. Advised use is once a week.

Tip: mixing with milk gives a smoother paste hence easy to spread or apply. Also scrub off while washing it. Will give better results.

Review: For me, this mask definitely helped in controlling the acne especially during my chums, when my breakouts are the most. But it didnt do much for my blackheads. Like after the first application i could see a little less blackheads but after that no change. So overall a good product for controlling acne but not a great solution for blackheads. Will i purchase it again? Uhh..maybe not. I wont use it just for acne control. I have other products for that.

Disclaimer- this is my personal opinion guys. Just because it didn’t do that well for me doesn’t mean it won’t work for you.

If you like what i write then please show some love.

Till then

Bbye

Uncategorized

Talking about death and loss

Momspresso

Check out this interesting blog post
“God’s hospital” by Gayatri Deshmukh.
Read Here: https://www.momspresso.com/parenting/motherly-mess/article/god-s-hospital