self care, Uncategorized, WOMEN ISSUES

Cause that’s perfect to me..

It brings me immense pleasure to share that I, along with 30 other bloggers are celebrating Women’s Day with a twist.
I thank Revati bhushan who blogs at http://www.mommysmusings.in for introducing me. She is a soft skills trainer turned blogger and enjoys being a SAHM.

I would also take the opportunity to introduce Pamela Sarkar who blogs at http://www.improvandexplore.com. She is efficiently juggling being a full time mom and a blogger as well.

Our society presents and views the physical body in a particular way. Their definition of perfection is what we see on social media. That satiny flawless skin, zero figure, the perfect haircut and hair colour and all that wide range of clothes. Many of us end up comparing ourselves to whatever we see on the TV, and the most common comparison being the shape and size of the body. Whenever we glance through the magazines or even look at our friends/ neighbours, we think that is how i want to be. And we set “that” as our goal.

#bodypositivity was a movement started with the goal that all humans should have a positive body image. The goal of the movement is to address the unrealistic beauty standards and build the confidence of oneself and others. It focuses on self- acceptance, beauty and self- esteem. Seeing all those models makes us lose our self- confidence and we end up not loving ourselves as much as we should and not accepting our physical traits.

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I believe there is a very thin line between working on correcting your flaws and changing yourself completely. You should definitely work on losing all the extra weight that you have, but you cannot change your body structure. Anatomy is permanent. I feel sad for girls who get ‘n’ number of cosmetic surgeries done and go to extremes like rib removal to look like what, A DOLL? I mean thats a doll, its not real. People inject their lips with what not, because they want them look like a particular hero/ heroine.

YOU ARE YOU AND THATS WHAT MAKES YOU UNIQUE. Since when have we forgotten THAT!!!! You were born to be real and not perfect. And who decides the definition of perfection? To me perfection is just a myth. What is perfect to me might not be to you and vice versa. Doesnt mean we change ourselves because the other thinks otherwise.

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Having toned abs is cool,

No abs? even cool.

A perkier butt gets a wow,

a smaller butt? not cool, but how?

Perfect curves, and perfectly lean

smirking at something otherwise..So mean!!

Everyone has flaws and everyone is imperfect. Wouldnt we be gods if we were so perfect? Yes, i am overweight, i do not have the perfect skin, neither do i have the perfect looks. But I love my body. I accept my body the way it is. I know i need to get in shape according to my height stats but I am not going to change it to look like someone else’s. I even have stretch marks. SO what??? I am proud of them. I have given birth to two children and I have earned those stripes. I wouldnt feel ashamed of showing them off. Real breasts arent identical, real butts have stretch marks and real skin has freckles & scars. But according to me that is what makes it beautiful. Tell me, what looks better, a blank canvas or one with lines and colours on it?

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Everybody has a different body type, different body metabolism, totally different lifestyles and life priorities. Always remember, you can or rather you should be a better version of yourself and not of someone else. I have been struggling to lose weight ever since i remember. I have always been on the heavier side but thats how my body is. I cannot reduce my butt to a certain size because you think i should. My natural anatomical structure is broad and no matter what I CANNOT THAT!!! After trying many diets and workout routine, it is now that i know what works best for me and body. And YES, IT TAKES TIME. Remember, Rome wasnt built in a day. MAybe you lose weight and inches easily, but i dont and you cannot body shame me for that.

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” You are too curvy, you need to lose weight. You are too skinny, you have no curves. Your skin is dull and oily. Why do you have pimples and acne on your skin?”. “Maybe, you are too judgemental and you need to shut up!!!!”

STOP LOOKING FOR PERFECT BODIES, INSTEAD LOOK FOR PURE HEARTS.


Uncategorized

I LOVE ME- THE WAY I AM BORN

It brings me immense pleasure to share that I, along with 30 other bloggers are celebrating Women’s Day with a twist.
I thank Revati bhushan who blogs at http://www.mommysmusings.in for introducing me. She is a soft skills trainer turned blogger and enjoys being a SAHM.

I would also take the opportunity to introduce Pamela Sarkar who blogs at http://www.improvandexplore.com. She is efficiently juggling being a full time mom and a blogger as well.

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I believe, self love is the most important form of love. To me loving yourself means appreciating your capabilities, knowing your worth and accepting your flaws. It is to cater to your own needs, to realise your strengths & weaknesses, to chase your dreams and to forgive yourself for your mistakes & failures.

Flashback to the time, when people told my mom that she should have looked at herself more in the mirror during her pregnancy so that i would have better features (i was born dark with a flat nose you see). Some even teased her that the nurse exchanged her baby at the hospital.

For the major part of my school life, i have had friends tell me that i shouldnt wear bright colours as they do not suit my dusky complexion. That i shouldnt wear skirts and dresses because that didnt suit my fat body. That i should have a certain haircut because it makes my face look leaner. Peer pressure strikes you bad. The fear of being left out makes you do things that you do not want to. I stopped wearing bright colours, jeans and t- shirts were all that i wore. My mom has always tried to instill self love in me, but all i could say to her was that my choices had changed.

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Fast forward to college life, which is even harder. Its like all that people do is judge you. They continuosly criticize you. Thats when i realised that people are <em>double dholki</em>. They are going to say things no matter what. And that they are never going to love me, whatsoever happens. I was at a constant battle inside. I was unhappy, sad and frustrated and that had to change. Thats when i understood the meaning and importance of self love.

You give so much love to everyone around, give some to yourself too. Accept yourself- others wont and do not need to. Love yourself the way you want others to love you. You will give love only if you have love within you.

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I know, i am not perfect, I know i have flaws and i know that i make mistakes. But I also know that, thats how God wanted me to be and I love myself for all of that. I love my flaws, because they give me a reason to improve. I love making mistakes, which means i have a chance to correct them. To you, i may be fat, but to me I am curvy. And I love my body as it is. It is nature’s handiwork and I dont want to critique that.

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5 most effective ways to practise self love:

Working out- invest in your body. Eat right, exercise enough and polish that masterpiece created by god. When you spend so much time on your body, you can hardly hate it. Oh and working out gives you great skin too.

Reflect- look back on your achievements. All those certificates and trophies you won in school, college etc. Remind yourself you are all of that. Surround yourself with people who will remind you of all those things. Be with people who bring you joy.

Self- Praise- Stand in front of the mirror first thing in the morning and say 2 good things about yourself. Trust me you will have a happy day. Trust yourself that you can sail through and survive the difficult times.

No comparison- Never ever compare yourself to others. You are two different individuals, you are meant to have different personalities. You are you, and thats your super- power.

Me time- take yourself out on a date, catch a movie with yourself, splurge on clothes and be the foodie that you are. For once, make yourself a priority and see the magic happen.

You know what myfavourite quote is?

“I love you, but I love me more. I have been in a relationship with myself for 49 years and thats the one i need to focus on”.. – Samantha Jones from SATC

Here’s a few lines from me:

love yourself for who you are, and not what others want you to be.

love your inner self, and not just the outer you that people see.

Know your strengths, know your worth,

There is a reason, you have taken birth.

Love yourself so fiercely

that you do not need someone else to love you…

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Uncategorized

Essence of being a woman & a SAHM..

I LOVE BEING A WOMAN!!!

because… it gives me the opportunity to play so many roles in a lifetime. It gives me the self confidence that whatever I do is for the good. It gives me the power to make my own choices and to believe in & stand up for myself.

Being a woman is divine. It is a god’s gift and i truly & completely appreciate that. I am proud of the person that I am. I feel so happy about how far i have come from within. I thank god to give me the strength to be a good human being at all times. I cherish the real me & unique me. And I love the bright & shiny inner me.

I am responsible and take my own decisions. My life My choices- I have the confidence to lead and not just follow. I embrace my feminity as it is. Too thin or too fat do not define me. I am strong and powerful. Never challenge my strength. I can life 50 kgs at the gym as efficiently as the family’s emotional load. As i read somewhere ” Women have a great natural and at time supernatural ability to sustain & uphold, to encourage & carry on. Women are healers & nurturers, and answer & salve to the man’s strength and violence, a softness in reply to the rough hardness of men”.

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My intuition is stronger than any man- because i am sensitive & i can connect. I possess the ability to love and care for anyone & everyone and to be loved back too. I am proud of all the roles that i play in my life- a doting daughter, caring sister, a dedicated wife and a responsible mother. But the role that gives me immense joy and satisfaction is the role i play as a mother. Like many of you, I never thought of myself as just a housewife and mother. I was very much certain that my career will be the greater part of my identity. But today, I realise and I know for sure that being a SAHM (stay-at-home-mother) is by far the best decision i have made.

So lets bust some myths about being a SAHM.

  1. First of all, and the most important- IT WASN’T A COMPROMISE OR SACRIFICE ( as many of my friends, who are concentrating more on their careers think it is). It would come as a surprise and shock to all of them that “I CHOSE MY KIDS OVER MY CAREER”. For me, spending quality & quantity time with them is more important at this point of time. I believe, a child needs its mother the most in the initial years and I decided to give my children all the time they needed. Some might even judge me as being conservative or old fashioned. But hey! that doesnt bother me. I know what works best for my family. download (1)
  2. No me time- Infact, staying at home gives me more time for myself than i had when i was working (another shocker right? Yes, i was working after my elder kid turned 3 years old. Yes, i enjoyed my work and yes. But as they say you cannot have it all. Working 8 hours a day didnt leave me with enough time for my child and she made sure to show that. So, when i conceived the second time, the decision was mad). Now, whenever my kids are napping or out playing or with their dad, thats all me time. I can do whatever i want to and trust me it helps keep me sane.
  3. Financially dependent- Well, i wouldnt call myself financially dependent. Yes, maybe i do not earn as much as my husband (Yes, do make some money through my blog), but my husband has never made me feel as if i am dependent on him. It is me who takes all the decisions regarding the household, the kids etc. He has never questioned me regarding any of that and that itself gives me the feeling of being independent. I am in- charge of the household finances. download (2)
  4. Less challenges- Let me tell you, blogging is very challenging. You need to visible in the social world, and that takes a lot of effort. I have a dedicated corner in my house for my blogging work and yes we do have deadlines as well. But unlike many, i have the added advantage of working from my own comfort zone and according to my wish. And most importantly, i get to follow my passion- which many of us cant and sometimes it takes a back seat as a hobby.

In a nutshell, Being a SAHM is a large part of my identity as a woman. And ai am glad that i get to give it my 100% and that I get to do my job efficiently and with pleasure.

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“It takes someone really brave to be a mother, someone strong to raise a child and someone special to love someone more than herself- and thats what defines a MOTHER and a WOMAN”.

This post is a part of Mom’sspeakup blog train hosted by Prisha from mummasaurus.com and Nayantara from mommyingbabyt.com

I want to say a big thank you to Aashiqa raweez for introducing me. Read up her post on being a woman here 👉 https://ummafafsblog.com/2019/03/06/an-early-mother/for introducing me.

And want to introduce Ravijot Kaur. Head over to her blog 👉 http://shiningshower.com/2019/03/fun-facts-of-single-motherhood/ on how she enjoys motherhood.

Hop on their blogs and do read their amazing blogs.

Hosted By :

#Mummasaurus
#MommyingBabyT

Parenthood, Uncategorized

Surviving travelling with kids #superbloggerchallenge #instacuppa

Travelling with kids can seem tedious. It might even be scary for some. I myself used to dread travelling with the kids. In a nutshell, we have hardly taken any trips after having kids. But following certain things has helped us a lot. Sharing them with you all in this post. I wont be covering points like hotel booking etc, as these are already well planned. Well you cant travel last minute with your kids can you?

AIR TRAVEL

Flight timings– Preferably fly during the child’s nap time. You can even try catching the early morning or late night flights. As the kids just want to sleep that time. And dont bother changing their sleepsuits, they are going to sleep anyways.

Clothing- Now this makes a big difference. Wear them in soft, light breathable clothes. You want them to be comfortable. Always keep a t-shirt or two or a jacket handy, if they feel cold. Layering up is easy. Clothing should be easy to don and doff as well. Saves a lot of time during loo visits (inflight and on the airport). Also avoid shoes with laces. Instead opt for shoes with velcro straps or even better slip ons. These things even make security checks easier.

Strollers & Carriers- Keep these handy. You can ditch your regular big stroller for the smaller travel friendly version. And yes, you are allowed to carry them on flight. If you are baby wearing parents, then carriers and slings are even better. In case of infants, i would recommend baby wearing. Keeping them close to you helps reduce their anxiety and stress free travel. And in case of toddlers, who want to runaway everywhere, you can try on the kid harness/ leash. I know some of you might not like the idea, but do whatever keeps your kids safe and makes travel easy.

Busy bag- Now even if it is an 2 hour flight, and in case your kid doesnt sleep, you will need to keep him busy. Kids hate being restricted to one place. For toddlers the magnetic doodle pads are a great option, or board books, and some papers and colours. For elder kids story books, colouring, rubik’s cube, 3D cube maze puzzle box, hand held plastic dexterity moveable squares puzzle, word search booklet, magnetic board games etc. And sometimes you might want to give them that ipad, or phone as a last resort. In that case do not forget to load them with their fav shows or rhymes before leaving home.

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Snacks- Mostly airlines serve snacks no matter how short the flight time. But you might want to keep spme of their fav snacks handy.

Pack light- Remember you have to carry all that luggage on and off the flight. So pack wisely. Disposable diapers can be bought anywhere, so do not carry a whole pack of it. And if you are used to a particular brand, then try some other easily available brand for a few days before travel.

Lastly, air travel with kids has its own perks. Like priority in security checks, passenger lines, helper staff etc. PLease dont hesitate to use them.

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CAR TRAVEL

Most of the pointers are same for both kinds of travel, so jotting down pointers only specific to car travels here.

Car seat- It took me 5 years to convince my family to get a car seat. Finally we got one after we had our second child. Trust me, even if the journey is for a few hours or an entire day, carrying your lil one is neither easy for you nor comfortable for the child. They stay at ease in a car seat, plus they can sleep in it comfortably as well. And then there’s the added advantage of safety, because you cannot wear a seat belt over your child when you carry them.

Car seat organizer- Being on the co- driver seat shuffling through the diaper bag on the rear seat can be uncomfortable. Better to have a organizer hanging at the back of the driver’s seat. Stuff it with all the things you might need like, wipes, tissues, some snacks, hand towels, handy games for the kids etc. Grabbing things from it is much easier.

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Busy bag- In addition to the above mentioned options, try out the printable activities for kids. These are very useful in keeping them busy.

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Sickness bags- These are useful for all. We faced motion sickness problems with our 18 month old son last year, so sickness bags is a must. Now, they might not puke into the bag all of a sudden, so make sure to teach them to do that a few days before travelling.

Water- Pack atleast one bottle per person. Opt for re- usable ones instead of the disposable ones.

Coolers- In case you want to carry food for the kids. I usually, just carry snacks. Whenever, we stop for a food break i opt for options like idli, dosa, sandwiches for the kids, as these are all freshky made. Ideal snacks to carry would be nuts, dried & dehydrated fruits, fruits like banana, apple, pear, oranges, bag of chips, homemade cookies and homemade cake.

Trash bags- You can expect a lot of trash when with kids. Either keep one big bag or a couple small ones and dispose off wherever you can. Helps keep the car clean.

Sun shield- You are definitely going to need these, especially with kids in the back seat. Invest in some good quality ones that would last long.

And MOST IMPORTANT, do not lose your calm. Kids are not used to travelling and shouting and yelling at them is going to make it even more difficult. So, stay calm, be patient and travel will be easy.

So, these are our travelling essentials for air travel and car travel that has made it easy for us. Lemme know if this post was helpful and if i missed out on something.

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This article is written as a part of SuperBloggerChallenge conducted by Healthwealthbridge.com https://healthwealthbridge.com/,  Allaboutthewoman.com https://allaboutthewoman.com/  and powered by Instacuppa http://blog.instacuppastore.com and should not be repurposed, republished or used otherwise. The content herein is owned by the blogger. SuperBloggerChallenge is not responsible for any infringement caused.”